We ended the first part of our conversation about shame with taking the forgiveness step; As in forgiving ourselves from past mistakes! Yes, mistakes can put us into undesirable circumstances. This will require for us to take certain action steps to get us to the other side of those circumstances. But guess what?! Being full of shame does not lead to results. Being full of shame has never changed anyone’s situation. It has never changed mine! Shame will cause you to be hard on yourself about everything you do. Shame will keep you in fear of taking action. Every time you say something or do something, you will have a judgement for. We often talk about other people judging us; let’s stop worrying about other people. The judgement comes from within! Side note: if someone says something to you that you identify with as a judgement, most likely it’s because you had been judging yourself on that thing anyway.
Let’s talk about money for a minute. You could be in 25K or 250K in debt. Eating shame for breakfast will lead you to believe you’ll never move past where you are, so what’s the point of even trying. Shame will have you feeling sad, depressed, and embarrassed for taking on some level of assistance. Maybe you’ve had to get help to pay for food, the light bill, rent, or mortgage. If you are letting your past mistakes run your present, shame will tell you, “See you’re terrible with money. If you had your shit together you wouldn’t be in this situation.” You won’t even look for creative solutions because shame will have you thinking you are not smart enough to handle money.
See how important forgiving yourself is for past mistakes? Is this sinking in? Join me again soon for Round #3