We’ve heard the saying, “If it’s hard then you must be doing something right.” I didn’t realize how messed up the saying was and still is until I hit my late thirties.
The “It” can be anything in life from school to business to relationships! So, does that mean if things are easy then you’re doing something wrong?!
I took that phrase and ran with it! It became a dreadful narrative that I lived by and sabotaged myself with. I convinced myself that life was going to be a continuous struggle because that meant “I was doing something right.” There were many ideas and career paths I frowned at because they would’ve been “too easy” for me to pursue. I had this idea that I should pursue things that I did NOT enjoy and that were hard for me to learn! Yep…true story.
I trained myself to expect life to be an entire struggle. I settled to accept that to survive was good enough. That showed in my actions from the jobs and “friends” I chose to the way I talked to the low-confidence way I carried myself.
Then one night in a club, I danced my way into some sense. “You’ve settled for struggle too long.”
The “If it’s hard you must be doing something right” narrative comes from different sources for different people. For me, it came from church. Regardless of the source, living from that narrative will throw you into a self-sabotage cycle. You can become addicted to problems and drama. If things were going smooth in your life, instead of enjoying the coast, have you ever found yourself wondering, “Ok. Is something about to happen?” If something appears to be “too easy”, “too many” good opportunities coming your way, or if you find yourself saying “I’m just waiting for the other shoe to drop”, then you are allowing that narrative to run your life.. You’ll trash every good thing in your path all because “it seems too easy.”
I’m not saying challenges disappear. We must remember that when the challenges show up in the pursuit, it doesn’t mean that what we’re working toward isn’t for us to have. Challenges show up that are out of our control. So, we don’t need to wait for life to be hard.
Life can be smooth. We don’t have to struggle every day and for everything. Just because something has come easy to us doesn’t mean it wasn’t meant for us to have. Just because we didn’t fall, bust our chin, and chip a tooth doesn’t mean that what we gained wasn’t for us. I believe when we are pursuing what feeds our soul and makes us feel alive and energized, we can expect to thrive. Because thriving is what we are meant to do.